Tractor Troubles

My John Deere 3020 tractor gels up in the pasture while I am feeding the livestock in 35-below temperatures.

Twice.

I pour emergency anti-gel into the diesel tank, turn the key and press the ignition button.

Not even a click.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

I pull the awkward, 45-pound batteries and put them in the basement to warm.

They are dead.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

I replace the batteries and cables. The tractor should start now.

Not even a click.

I jump the starter. I get a whirring sound, but no real effort from the starter.

It is still cold so I pull the batteries and put them in the basement again.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

My advisory committee of knowledgeable friends suggests changing the solenoid.

I make a trip to town and buy a new solenoid.

Not even a click.

My advisory committee and YouTube say this is a sure sign that the starter is bad.

The starter has two bolts that are easy to access and one very difficult bolt.

I get the bolts loose and call it a win.

The starter needs 5 inches of space to slip out.

The double fuel filters allow 2 inches from the starter.

Oh well, I need to change the fuel filters anyway.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

The auto parts store has one filter, not two.

They order a second filter for the next day.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

The fuel filter doesn’t come the next day.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

The fuel filter shows up on second day.

I call it a win.

I crank a filter wrench on the first old fuel filter.

It won’t budge.

I heat the fuel filter housing and tap on it. The filter still won’t budge.

I break two filter wrenches but I get the starter out.

As I pull the starter out, I discover I broke the fuel filter housing.

My mechanic tests the starter.

It is good.

I take the housing to my machinist. He will weld it together by Monday.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

I forget to pick up the housing on Monday.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

On Tuesday, I install the starter and new fuel filters.

Not even a click.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

YouTube videos suggest testing the ignition switch.

It’s bad.

I install a new ignition switch.

Not even a click.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

YouTube educates me about the neutral safety switch, tucked under the floorboard.

As I test the neutral safety switch with my voltmeter, in my mind I have a pointed conversation with tractor designers.

The switch is good.

Not even a click.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

In the middle of the night, I wonder if I actually know how to test the neutral safety switch.

I watch YouTube videos about safety switches and voltage.

I test the voltage of wires from the neutral safety switch to the starter.

The voltage is too low.

A storm dumps a half inch of rain and 5 inches of snow, delaying work on my tractor.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.

Three days later, I go out to retest the voltage and check battery cables.

I realize I left the ignition key on during the storm.

I pull the dead batteries to recharge them.

I feed the livestock with skid steer.

One brand new battery is bad.

I feed the livestock with the skid steer.